Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Capital T for Trevor or Trouble?

I think Trevor is feeling a bit left out…. of the blog… Does he really know that the house was trumping his successes and/or behavior…
Ha.. I am still VERY proud of his daily huge steps and accomplishments with his speech, his outgoing-ness, his excitement…and he is more daring lately too!  One of his favorite activities is swimming… and it is much improving, but still freaks when you let go of him… But he lets me “dunk” him and is very happy.. unless you let his feet touch the bottom… BUT
Our Defiant, Strong-willed, Rebellious, Disobedient, Non- compliant, Stubborn, Determined, Persistent, Little Trevor IS BACK…. Wow… I will blog next about the “behavior charts” that I adapted from some pinterest ideas because it was obvious… behavior was needing so much more discipline for Trevor… so stay tuned for that outcome…
But first… Some of the naughtiness…actually just today he wore the perfect shirt for him "You can call me Super, Serious, Big Time Trouble:
He is most annoying to his brother:
Isaac is VERY tired at bedtime… he always has been, but lately he is REALLY worn out with T-Ball, Intro to Kindergarten, and just all the running around we do… we just have to fit in all these great outdoor activities.. Heck just venturing out to the “construction site” wears down the eldest son… climbing through mud... running around the bumpy, uncultivated yard – you would think this too would wear out the youngest… (I should mention now – They are sharing the same full sized bed.. laying the horizontal way, but with a bulky blanket separating their designated sections – they both just fit, so good thing it isn’t a year later) -- So come bedtime, “Nighttime” as Trevor calls it often, Isaac is ready for lights out and getting his much needed rest… Sneaky Trevor as you have figured out… not so much… He is WOUND UP… I am not sure if his head is even hitting his pillow until at least a half hour into this so called “Nighttime.” 
He leans over Isaac…right on top of him as if to say “Wake Up”  but only to bother him and it works.
He pulls covers off of Isaac… and the kid doesn’t even use the covers... he could go to bed with just a fitted sheet and his blanket in the dead of winter and be perfectly happy… making his bed is the worst one in the morning… Prior to the boys sharing a bed.. he must have taken this half hour cool down time to get every inch of blankets off of him.. but now he has found something much more interesting.  HE gets to pick on his brother.
He steals “animals” from Isaac – they usually fight over Buzz, and the Angry Bird… even though Isaac sleeps with 3 of these animals AT MOST, sometimes none… and Trevor easily has 10 in bed with him… just isn’t enough if I can have Isaac’s too…
He picks apart poor Buzz Lightyear.. most of his insides are out come morning (this started at the old house – not sure why…I have thought too deeply about it, but have already been down that autism path, so I am going to ignore those thoughts and continue with over tired and needs something to shut him down??)… but Isaac hates that he does that.  Buzz was officially Isaac’s and he is very protective of “his” toys although it’s fine with Isaac that Trevor has him, but just don’t “break him.” 
He gets out of bed… “I have to go poop”… “I hungry”…  He never used to do that… uh oh… what have we created.
My easy to put to bed, keep in bed kid has made a 180 degree turn… what happened. 
So we have been “punishing behavior” by using this chart – although we don’t want him to get out of bed to show the consequence which is part of how it works… we have taken animals away.. one night I swear I took 14 animals out of his bed… 1 at a time… I was getting VERY frustrated. We have even moved Isaac into my bed to fall asleep (I am not a huge fan of that one, because I believe Isaac will be the one who will want and need that sooner than later now??! – great I just create these circumstances don’t I?)  So one night.. I had more than the usual stuff to do (probably cakes as it has been crazy busy lately—yikes), So I told Isaac just to go straight to my bed and go to sleep.. He was great with that (see… yikes again)  but a holy fit from Trevor… I tried my best to be strong.. but after 25 minutes of “Isaac in my oom… Isaac by me…Peas (Please)…peas Mommy…Peas….. “  He got his dainty little way again.  And yes of all the words to use there.. dainty… cuz that is what it is… he has it perfectly laid out like he knows exactly what he is doing and is going to do it… over, and over, and over, and over, and over again until …. Well who knows… I guess he gets his way doesn’t he???  Isaac NEVER… no really NEVER got to me like Trevor can.  He knew and knows if he is going to be in trouble there are consequences... not my little Trevor.  He is sooooo persistent. They say that toddlers aim to please and don’t want to make their parents mad… In Isaac I see that everyday STILL… and in Trevor it is quickly fading…. Quickly…….He’s as tall as a 5 year old…guess he is skipping the aim to please phase of growing up… Ha… which is funny because in his speech sessions at the school and even the new place (We started at the college last week and he adjusted SOOOOO well!)  He is very concerned with following the rules and “pleasing” the SLP?  So I guess he knows that he can push his Mom and Dad around. = not good
He is a HORRIBLE eater… so quite a while back… I wrote a blog about supper dilemmas, well I will gladly take those days back.. at least he was coming to the table and actually drank his milk… or something.  You would have thought I asked the kid to finish his liver and onions when it was just Mac – n – Cheese 2 days ago.  He didn’t even touch it – didn’t even come to the table.  “I don’t want that…”  It was a gorgeous night and Isaac and Daddy went swimming and Trevor and Mommy had to stay home as punishment, cuz the chart didn’t work… the neighbors must have wanted to strangle me that evening…  ½ hour of listening to “Daddy….swimming lessons…go too… Daddy… peas (please)… Daddy….”  (Daddy had been gone for a while and he was yelling out the window to him… no pickup in sight”… also, they aren’t lessons that is just what he was calling it…. Ok, so that was cute…  Bathtime seemed to soothe him, but probably too close to swimming, so I probably burned that bridge too… and after listening to that for the ½ hour.  But he was still mad at me. 
He has been hitting.. not hard, but that isn’t the point.    
The rebellious part comes with the little looks he gives as he hasn’t even started doing something naughty but is about too… just saying… Trevor what are you doing, “Nothin”…or the immediate crying to get his way… heck he cries or tries to hide something that the kid could even have, say a nutra-grain (The kid eats them like candy) at snack time…before he even asks, just because he is acting in a way that he thinks is being sneaky and wants his way – even when I say you can have one, he says “Oh” as a surprised response as in… well, what else can I find to get into trouble after I devour this candy bar??!… Fake crying turned on and off.. HAS TO BE my BIGGEST pet peeve with him right now.  URGGGHhhhhhhhhhhh…….
The biggest challenge is that we are in this apartment complex… and he really can’t just cry it out like I feel he should be… learn to deal with the consequence and actually feel bad.  Even his “Sorry s” aren’t on track… snotty like a teenager acts.  (I think… at least that’s when I imagine that happens)
So that is just a glimpse in the world of my 3 ½ year old lately… there is more… as I try to figure out how to control these issues… I will let you laugh at the struggles of raising this defiant young lad. 

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