Isaac did it... he made me nervous like I have never been before. I guess I have been nervous about issues before, but I really hadn't had this feeling of not knowing if I was going to be able to correct this behavior or the fear that I wouldn't correct it in an effective way???? Doesn't that make sense... either way it needed to be straightened out ASAP. I don't expect that my children aren't going to have struggles or issues at school, but not being there in person to take care of or actually see what is going on and how he is handling it... makes for a hard situation to correct.
I believe in establishing right and wrongs AS the situation is evident. So, it was my first experience as a parent to deal with an out of control situation without actually being about to take care of it right way....
What's this situation I am referring to? Isaac decided he was going to be the Kindergarten Class Clown.... he was disrupting class by trying anything and everything to get his classmates to giggle, and when they did...it gave him the encouragement to strive from more.
Where was this coming from? Knowing me -- I wanted to find the REASONS behind the behavior... what has been going on? ...
Nothing much has changed in our schedules...I don't think it had been adequate time for Isaac to know the workload I have on me right now -- I have added 2 "nursing" classes to teach at the technical college to my already busy schedule, which of course are opposite of my normal teaching days...so now a full week of teaching incooperated into my 12 hour-night shift schedules. I was asked to help out when the normal instructor had some family medical issues that she needed to cope with. I was more than honored to be asked as I would love to be doing this work FULL TIME.. and sooner than later, but I don't think that is coming as quickly as I would like --- ANYWAYS.....The week Isaac was acting up I had just started this chaos of work and home life schedules. So, I kind of ruled the "Mommy changes" out -- I know he doesn't like that I work nights -- him and me both -- but I have been doing this for 5 months now...it is hard to not sit down with family in the evening, afterall that's who I am and who I want my kids to become...I know there are plenty of families out there that struggle with shift work, I am not used to it. Upside...he gives GREAT hugs when I say goodbye, my heart breaks everytime, both for the sweetness of the hug and the emotion he is feeling cuz I am leaving. -- so maybe if in a few weeks this happens again, this could be readdressed? The worst part for me was trying to deal with behavior issues from the other end of a phone call. The first night I knew of the incidents I was able to pick him up from daycare, but only had a few minutes to get to the bottom of it.
So what was going on/why was he needed to clown around?... I discussed it with a few parents at work -- some ideas included:
Trying to impress others? Maybe he felt the need to make different friends or fit in differently? Is there a girl? WOW -- I don't know...not ready to deal with that... but I suppose it is quite innocent at this age.
Is he bored? He is quite smart if I do say so myself. His reading is astonishing-- not that other Kindergarteners aren't reading at his levels, but very proud of his accomplishments. His writing is amazing. (It is crazy what they can accomplish in 1/2 year of their first year of school!) Although, I am not convinced that this isn't the issue I have great doubts that it is. They keep those students on their toes... and further more -- our school, maybe others?? -- is sooooo good and dividing up the students in activities to suit their strengths and weakness without really setting them into categories of smartness. He often reminds me how much he loves school -- so how could this be the problem.
Is there inappropriateness in the setting?... As one parent mentioned -- a poster of a baboon's naked red butt hanging around the classroom??? I have attended some classroom activities (like the RED Event) and have NEVER seen anything like that, although I see her point with "easy" to achieve a "good" laugh out of something like that...I would assume maturity levels are something that are of great concern in the big K... SO, HIGHLY doubtful, but I understand why she brought it up.
I still don't understand what provoked the behavior...maybe nothing?
We as parents pressured him a bit to get this figured out-- when I first brought it up he started to cry... I told him that wasn't exceptable as we need to solve this and getting this empathy from me by crying wasn't going to cut it. I wanted him to explain the situtation to me... he didn't do that very well, especially with some denial and lying going on...but we did accomplish that this wasn't exceptable behavior. Actually, one of the first questions I asked him was, "who are the naughty kids in your class?" -- he named 2 kids and HIMSELF... Right then he knew he was in trouble.
Most important was my relief of communication of his teacher. Without addressing issues as soon as possible, things can get out of hand quickly -- not matter what the issue. I could feel the concern in her voice when she had to make "that call" to me to express that my kid is disrupting class. The critizism that may usually accompany such calls must be intimidating. I am sure it is one of the worst parts of a teachers job. (I haven't had these encounters -- good part of dealing with 18+ year olds... we can't talk to their parents!) I hope they (school officials/teachers) relize how important that phone call was to me. How a child ACTS in school affects the rest of their life... anything from if school comes easy to them or they struggle, to the socialization that comes with acting out issues.
He was extremely concerned the last few days with -- if his teacher had commnicated with us yet..."Did Mrs. V. e-mail you yet Mom?" So, what happens when that fear wears off???
Having control without actually BEING there to have the control... IT WAS a big challenge for me. Believing in my child is what helped me through it. :)
THANK GOODNESS -- it only happened for 3 days...at least I hope the process of becoming a class clown is over. I can only hope. I realize the need to address this later and a continuation of the support he needs now is important. Its not that I don't want Isaac to be himself, even if it is a clown-like image, but he needs to know when its appropriate.
Throughout this continued process, I have told him how important it is to be "Isaac," nobody else -- what a huge struggle that is -- afterall, we as adults can't grasp that. Oh the challenges of life, why can't they be easier?